I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
