I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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