Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So many bounce houses so little time
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
