I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
