Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize