It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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