Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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