well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
