these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
