it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
