Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I look better un-naked...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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