Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
