just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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