We got so high we made milksteak
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
