Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
