If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
