she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
