it wasn't lemon gatorade
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
