you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
