I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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