it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
