so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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