I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
