So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
