areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
