i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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