The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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