I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
