Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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