just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
