you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
