This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
