i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
