I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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