i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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