she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
