Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I will pee on everything he values.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
