i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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