You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
