Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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