if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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