he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
