I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Let's paint friendship bongs
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
