Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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