Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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