My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
