it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize
