You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
