No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
