Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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